I have long since given up on predicting what videos will do well on what app. I am wrong 100 percent of the time.

I’m hoping time will do an impossible thing and slow down but I won’t be holding my breath.

I love that crown. I loved it from the second I saw it…

Just because I go to stand in line for the cookies, does not mean that yall need to.

I made Cosmos for the signature cocktail because signature cocktails are fun and fancy.

We are just not as popular or interesting as the overpriced, bespectacled, table turkey and honestly that’s fair.

I especially love when someone plays along with my nonsense and says something equally hilarious.

What now? What’s next? Will I ever have another funny thought in my head?

If I made 6K people laugh for even just as long as that 1 minute video, I’ve done my job.

What happens when I post the next reel and it absolutely bombs?…Absolutely nothing is what will happen.

Look at me being helpful and offering VALUE!

We are still drowning in our own sweat down here.

I did post a video of me frolicking on the beach but because I’m over 30 absolutely no one is interested and it got like 40 views. OH WELL.

Time will tell if anything I left behind nags at me and I’m forced to run back and go get it…

As always, I definitely don’t have a plan or any idea what I’m doing.

No one is more surprised than me that I’ve made it a full 10 weeks chasing my nonsense dream of being a haphazard, albeit beloved, mega influencer.

Unless and until you’ve had really horrific cake do you understand how hard good cake is to come by.

It’s as glamorous as it sounds. Everything goes perfect and exactly according to plan.

I was put in Instagram jail this week.