This week was fun and exciting because I posted exactly nothing. Not one video did I post this week. First time that’s happened since I started all this mess. I am deep in mom mode, my time is not my own. I have a limited number of hours to get things done in a day and I have not been able to squeeze the time to film and edit. If I had more time to sit and think, I’d realize how much I miss it and immediately get to work starting to make more hours in the day. I’d soon realize I’m not God and just vow to do better next week.

As much as I miss filming and interacting with followers, I don’t regret being present for my children and participating in their extracurriculars. I don’t want to miss anything as much as I can help it. When they’re grown, I want them to look back and remember me just “being there.” This is struggle of the so called work life balance. I don’t think there’s such a thing. There’s give and take. Some days are work heavy, some days are family heavy, and as parents, we get whatever’s leftover at the end of the day. Some days it’s not much. Some days it’s just a quick shower and crawling into bed, asleep in 30 seconds, and awake in what feels like 5 minutes to start the day all over again. The days are long and the years are short they say. Why does it feel like the days are short as well? Like sand through the hourglass, I feel like I’m actually bleeding time.

Maybe this down time is good for me. I haven’t had time to think or plan but I want to. I need to. The new year is around the corner and I need to figure next steps. Retool my schedule and figure out what works.