Love
I have resented Valentine’s day for years. I am bothered by the commercial-ness of it, it feels forced. Like your partner has to buy flowers, has to buy chocolate, has to buy jewelry, wine, a card, something fancy to express their undying love. AND they are doing this thing because this is the day they are supposed to be doing this thing along with everyone else in the world…Not that those things aren’t lovely and very much appreciated, they are. But I’ve just always found surprises to be more romantic. Picking up flowers from the grocery store on a random Tuesday, just because…the little, ‘I was thinking about you’ text out of the blue. That’s really special and it means so much more.
And what if you don’t have a partner? You either haven’t met that special someone yet or you just went through a traumatic break-up. It can be painful, exclusionary, and isolating. No thanks.
I recognize that I now sound like a bitter betty and that’s the last thing I want to be. I just wish for a little bit of a rebrand. A more inclusionary holiday that encompasses all kinds of love that isn’t solely focused on getting engaged by the end of an expensive dinner. And a love that isn’t celebrated on just one day but rather all throughout the year. A celebration of romantic love yes but also parental love, sibling love, friendship love, love for our children, our pets, and blessedly…ourselves.
My hope is that wherever you find yourself at this Valentine’s day you take a moment to consider what’s the most radical act of self-love you can do today, this week, this year? What stress can you take off your plate? What thing can you add or take away from your days to make them more enjoyable? I believe that when we’re taking care of ourselves, loving ourselves fully, that love overflows to everyone around us. When our cup is full we have the energy, effort, and time to give to others. We have to put on our own oxygen mask first.
Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you’re spending it the way you want to and playing by your own rules. Whether you are celebrating with your partner, hanging out with a friend, or snuggling with your dog.